please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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