a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cut my penus on the lid.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is Oprah even human
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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