Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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