she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
did i just pee glitter
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