rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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