what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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