I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
