They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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