a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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