Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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