Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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