It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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