I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
