We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I will be naked everywhere
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
