whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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