I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
