Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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