I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
