we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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