Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
