So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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