I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
