You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
