My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
