Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize