watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
