Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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