the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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