she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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