Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
