I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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