she woke up with a sticky ear
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
