What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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