singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
