My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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