No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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