I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
