You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
