I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
