i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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