Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
