Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
