Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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