there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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