listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
