if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
