I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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