Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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