She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
