The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
