my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize