No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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