i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
