He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
