I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
