Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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