So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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