She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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