You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
